Making music in 2021 with Ms Debbie was enjoyed by only a few dedicated parents, willing to experience Kindermusik online and/or outdoors in the Winter & Spring… and just a few in our beautiful studio room in July.
This Fall, Ms Debbie needed to take some time for her OWN parents, and is grateful to have been 100% present for these events. Although her heart misses her musical friends overwhelmingly… the future is uncertain.
You have questions… whether it is “What happened Ms Debbie? Are you Okay?” or “When will Kindermusik be offered again?” Hopefully, the following from Ms Debbie will provide some of the basics.
Hello my friends and Kindermusik families,
I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season and I wish you Happy Everything!
First, I sincerely apologize for the absolute lack of connection and communication during the last few months, slowing during the year, and stopping abruptly the first part of August. You may or may not know the reason… and I’d like to share, and answer some questions you may have.
PLEASE KNOW that I miss making music with each of you so much it hurts my heart when I see your picture on my phone or on Facebook, get your holiday card, or hang an ornament you have given me. Joy abounds when we are together. I hope the joy of making music together at home with your family continues… and will… for life.
I wanted to reach out to connect with you, catch you up with my story, and answer your questions about the future of Kindermusik. I hate those types of messages in which the answers are at the end of a lot of details… so I’ll start with my best try for answers, then you can read my story at your interest and time.
Will you be teaching Kindermusik in February at the studio?
Short answer… no.
I wish I could say that I’ll be back to ongoing weekly Kindermusik classes in our studio in February 2022 as I promised, but, I just learned our location at UMT will no longer be available.
The leaders at the United Methodist Temple have been extremely generous in allowing me to take over and redesign the space for us, as well as their flexibility over the last two years during the threat of Covid19, letting us meet outdoors on their deck and in their community room. Indeed, they have given some much needed grace for rent these past few months and allowing me to keep my supplies in the Kindermusik room. But now they have chosen to rent the space to the growing Cygnet school (amazing alternative school already in other spaces there). I am so sad to leave this place, but I fully understand they must meet the needs of their organization. These people are amazingly gracious and kind, and I appreciate our time at this location.
What… told to move again? I know, right? Many of you have moved from place to place with me over time, and I really appreciate your dedication. I feel confident you will be willing to find me where ever I teach Kindermusik. I hope so.
When will Kindermusik be offered again.. and where?
The honest truth is…
I don’t know.
I truly would love to start making music with you again soon, but my life circumstances are different now and requires looking at options other than the full load previously offered. My dad, and family continue to need more of my time. And I truly still need a bit more time for my mental health. The unexpected loss of the location will give me a little more time that I need, so in some ways it is a blessing.
I am trying to expand my creative mind to consider other opportunities to connect through the process of music in our community, and I am open to your suggestions. Yet, my creative mind is a bit muddle right now. It really has been a hellacious year for me. How about you? For those of you wanting to know more of my story, please read on.
What happened Ms Debbie? Are you okay?
I’m okay. For me, 2020 was a year of adaptation. 2021 was a year of LOSS. I hope 2022 will allow for a transition to a balanced way to thrive and make music together with my friends.
This story is not an excuse for my lack of communication (Though that is one thing I wish I could have done better) or invitation for a pity party. It is just my story. THANKS so much to those of you have reached out to ask about my wellbeing, and please forgive me for my delay in responding… as it seemed to defy an easy answer and I did not want to burden you with my craziness and whole range of emotions.
I am quite sure we all have our trauma stories about dealing with wave after wave of Covid-19 strains, and personally I have lost friends and relatives to that illness. My heart goes out to you if you have dealt with these losses as well.
Trying to run a face-to-face business like Kindermusik with the littles and their families was an extreme challenge trying to adapt through changes. Understandably, Enrollment dramatically decreased and the viability of my business began to waver.
From my heart, THANK you to those who adapted with us as we held Kindermusik classes online through ZOOM, as well as on an outdoor deck at the studio location, or in the larger church community room. Each provided a unique experience that allowed our children and families to continue to thrive through making music together. Our outdoor classes on the deck are now some of my favorite memories, and I would love to explore some more outdoor options in the future.
In Feb. my lap top computer was stolen from my Kindermusik room… when I was sitting in the waiting room in between two online classes. There was not an effective back up of all the personal work… or pictures I had on that computer. In March, my desktop bombed. There was a backup of the most critical work, but still a lot was lost. If you have pictures of our time in Kindermusik together, please email them to me. I’ll likely respond with extreme emotions, since I miss you so much, AND I will be glad for the memories.
In June, my family had a nice family vacation in Texas… to meet Cora’s request to see the stars in dark sky territory in and near Big Bend area. Than my parents flew out so we could go see as much of our family as possible, including my mom’s only living sister, who was undergoing treatment for cancer (she is now cancer free!). It was really good to see and reconnect personally with so much of our extended family… and… it was a challenge. It became so much more clear that my mom’s Alzheimer’s was getting worse, and that my dad’s health was declining as well.
In July, my mom’s decline qualified her for a Good Shepherd Hospice team who helped me learn to care for her and provided some much needed support. I HIGHLY recommend them if your family gets in that situation.
I realized the need to take some time off from teaching Kindermusik and running my business so I could help my parents. Little did I know what the next few weeks and months would bring, and how important it was to be present 100%.
On Aug. 7, the day AFTER I taught my last class, a medical visit determined that my dad had developed a brain tumor the size of my fist inside his skull behind his right eye. My dad moved into the hospital, and I moved in with my mom to care for her full time. It was a lot to juggle while trying to be at the hospital to follow up and advocate for my dad, and get his affairs in order just in case.
Fortunately, the surgeon was successful at removing his tumor (not cancerous) and he looked a bit like Frankenstein with the large stapled scar on his head. Within a few days, he was responding well by talking, moving a bit and eventually walking. After continuing to recover in the hospital over a month, he was glad to be going home.
The day AFTER he came home from the hospital in September, my mom’s health deteriorated rapidly, and she was physically unable to get out of bed. She rallied for a bit, and we moved a hospital bed into their living room so we could take care of her at home, but each day she was less and less capable… until my mom passed away in October.
We held her celebration of life on her birthday in a screened pavilion at Lake Parker Park where we often walked together.
The aftermath over the next two months has been challenging, especially trying to get my dad’s health stable, with repeated trips to the hospital, and finding a way for him to move forward physically and mentally… me too. Looking at his head NOW, you’d never suspect… you have to look close to see any trace of that scar. But his overall recovery has been much slower.
The absence of my mom, AND my mother-in-law (who passed in 2020) this holiday season was hard on the soul. I know there are many of you who are also feeling the loss of family during this holiday season and my heart goes out to you with a big hug.
I am so grateful I took the time off to be fully present for all of this and allow all the emotions to be fully felt. Thank you for your patience and understanding. I know you were expecting to create these warm memories with your family through our Kindermusik experiences, and I am so sad to not be there for you.
For me, moving forward, I must continue to be available to support my dad and his health needs, as well as the needs of my family at home. We are also busy building on our property to provide a home for our son and his girl. They are getting married in October 2022! Cora is graduating this year, and I am glad that we are able to spend more time together. PLUS, we have two other young adults living with us as they go through transitions as well… it’s a full house of unique personalities. So 2021 has had bright moments as well.
May 2022 bring you, and all of us good fortune, well-being, moments of pure happiness, and a way to thrive in our own way. Seriously, I’d love to chat, catch up with your story, and wish you well personally. Connect with me initially by email: email@example.com.